My Story
Since 1994
I was first exposed to porn at a very young age. Back then it was mostly magazines—there was no internet. I remember enjoying looking at pictures of girls, and at the time it felt harmless.
In the beginning, it was all fun and there were no real consequences. But years later, with the rise of the internet, along with growing older and having more responsibilities, I began to realize that it was affecting many areas of my life.
I tried many different ways to stop, but nothing seemed to work long term. Eventually I would always find myself going back to it. Now in my 40s, I’ve learned to manage it much better. With this same strategy, I’m able to keep it under control and limit it to soft content, just looking at pictures of beautiful women, mostly fully clothed or semi-nude, no video and no hardcore porn at all.
Lets Go Deeper
I learnt a lot over the years, trying new ways to quit and eventually relapsing. Nothing seemed to work. I thought I was broken and couldn’t be fixed. Things got really bad in 2018 when I got addicted to crystal meth and for 3 months straight I only thought about crystal meth. My porn addiction got worse. I was taking crystal meth and watching hardcore porn for hours per day. Then I overdosed and almost lost my life.
One good thing I will say about porn… you will not overdose. It’s a lot safer than crystal meth. Yes, if uncontrolled, porn will destroy you over time, for sure, but it will not instantly cause death.
My Many Addictions
My addictions go beyond porn. I struggle with junk food, movies, TV, YouTube, and spending endless hours sitting at my computer, often just wasting time online. In fact, my life has revolved around my computer for years.
My main source of porn became Tumblr. When I first discovered it around 2010, it felt incredible. The dopamine rush was real, and the infinite scroll did something to my brain that kept pulling me back. Then there was the crowd favorite, PornHub. Like many people experience, porn use tends to escalate over time, from softcore to more extreme content. It almost always follows that path until you learn how to take control of it.
Junk food has always been a big weakness for me. I’m not extremely overweight, but I’ve never really been in great shape either. I’ve tried exercise and eating healthy at different times in my life, but I was never able to stay consistent long enough to see major improvements in my physique.
For me, the problem isn’t so much overeating, it’s eating the wrong foods. There have been days, even weeks at a time, where almost everything I ate was junk food.
Sitting at my computer, watching movies or YouTube while snacking on junk food has always been one of my favorite pastimes. Sometimes I’d even postpone work just to do it.
Looking back now, it’s clear how much these habits have held me back. I can’t help but wonder where I might be today if I hadn’t struggled with these addictions. Maybe we’ll never know, and perhaps, in some ways, it was meant to be this way.
At the end of the day
We don’t need to be perfect to be successful. Stay away from the filth, the hardcore stuff. Do good and be good. Be helpful. Study hard and work hard. Purify your heart and mind as much as you can, and things will be okay. We just need to understand that there is a time and place for everything, a time to work and a time to play.
We love pretty girls, and we enjoy looking at them. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as we remain in control. The problem only begins when we cross a line that should never be crossed. Our goal is to gradually wean ourselves off until we no longer feel the need for it.
If we keep working on our minds and improving our habits, I truly believe we can free ourselves, not only from porn, but from any addiction that holds us back.
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